Craziest Police Sketches And Their Equally Crazy Stories

When there are crimes afoot, police sketches can play a crucial role in tracking down criminals. However, these sketches, whether drawn by hand, or using police CGI technology, can easily go very wrong! From lettuce-headed hooligans and bucktoothed burglars, to the ridiculous viral police sketch that got the wrong guy in a lot of trouble, let’s check out some crazy police sketches with equally crazy stories!

Cartoonish Sketch Leads To Arrest

As the saying goes, sometimes less is more. And that sentiment can even extend to police sketches. You’d be forgiven for assuming that the more detail the better; however, in an unlikely turn of events, a comically simple sketch captured a criminal’s likeness so well that it actually helped to catch him!

The year was 2018 and the Pennsylvania State Police were on the hunt for a man described as being around 30 to 40 years old with straight black hair, wide-set cheekbones, a pointed chin, and a build of about 5-foot-4. The short king had apparently deceived his way into appearing to be an employee at the Central Market in Lancaster, where he then made off with an undisclosed amount of cash stolen from the stall.

With a thief at large, the police requested that any eyewitnesses come forward, which is when one person provided their own sketch of the supposed bandit. Only problem being, said sketch looked as if it had been scrawled by a pre-schooler. Just look at it:

From the sketch, it seems that he has dots for eyes; a mere dash for a mouth; facial wrinkle lines that are literally singular lines. But, as unbelievable as it seems, the infantile sketch surprisingly jogged the memory of one investigator, which led him to a potential suspect name, that being, Mr. Hung Phuoc Nguyen. And well, after seeing the man’s mugshot next to his 2D sketch counterpart, it was safe to assume that they’d found their match.

In a very simplistic way, this juvenile doodle does bear a surprisingly striking resemblance! And while the sketch was quite generous with Nguyen’s hair, it was still accurate enough to pin him to the crime, and he was promptly arrested.

Thief With The Teeth

In modern times, the police don’t always use sketches, as it can be much easier and quicker to create something called an E-FIT. It stands for Electronic Facial Identification Technique, and is essentially a quick way of creating a digital portrait from a witness’ description without the need for an artist.

The types of software used for this can rapidly generate a basic representation of a suspect, based on a set of relatively simple variables around descriptions of facial features, hair, scars, accessories, and much more, and it can be a pretty effective tool! However, while at the best of times E-FITs can look uncomfortably uncanny, at worst they are hilariously nightmarish.

Case in point, back in 2018, a UK woman reported that two men arrived at her doorstep, distracted her, then tricked their way into her home and made off with an undisclosed amount of cash. Having described one of her muggers to the police, they cooked up this E-FIT monstrosity:

Sure enough, as this muppet-mouthed mugger was posted to the Warwickshire Police department’s social media pages, it promptly sent the internet into a frenzy, as it was relentlessly ridiculed. So much so, in fact, some people even thought it was a delayed April Fools prank, what with it being posted on the 3rd of April, something the Police themselves had to publicly deny! Sadly, despite the high level of public attention, Warwickshire Police never did find any suspect with a cake hole quite as large.

Goofy Police Sketch That Actually Worked

Criminal sketches aren’t always the most true to life. But that’s actually pretty understandable from the perspective of both the sketch-artists and the witnesses. After all, it’d be pretty difficult to accurately describe the face of a loved one, let alone a criminal who you may have only briefly seen.

In 2014, two women of the Lamar County area unfortunately found themselves the victims of a robbery. When describing their attacker, the women claimed he was around 6-foot tall with a muscular build, about 25 to 30 years old, with a straight nose with no flare in the nostrils, and with very thin facial hair. Working with this description, alongside the crucial tip that he had a very "round face", the police sketch artist whipped up this:

This moon-headed, slit-mouthed portrait was literally the work of an "experienced" professional. No mystery as to why it quickly became panned as one of the worst police sketches ever. But despite mass critique and ridicule, this so-called worst ever actually did help in catching the suspect! Thanks to this terrible sketch, the police somehow connected it to 32-year-old Glenn Edwin Rundles, which, as you can see from the image below, besides the large round head, the likeness leaves a lot to be desired.

Lettuce Head

E-FITs aren’t always the most effective method of depicting a criminal. If you need more proof of just how ineffective and hilarious these E-FITs can be then just get a load of this next one.

Back in 2010 in the UK, an elderly woman reported that a man had stolen £60 from her purse. Putting together an E-FIT of the thief, the woman described him as being around 40 years old and having wavy greying blonde hair. However, they put together the very peculiar E-FIT below.

A green haired man that has since been dubbed lettuce head. Not only is his hair basically fluorescent green, but it even seems to have a crisp, leafy texture. Imagine that slapped on a patty. You’re probably wondering why a police department, a very serious institution, would release something that is so clearly unserious. According to the Hampshire Police Department, the E-FIT department was experiencing technical issues, and needed an update to the software, hence why the man had green hair.

What doesn’t make sense, however, is that the department claims that it would never release an image unless the victim was happy and confident that it was accurate to their memory. So, either granny needs cataract surgery again or there really is a lettuce headed thief on the loose.

Schoolgirl's Sketch Leads To Burglar's Arrest

As the old show biz adage goes, you should never work with animals or children. However, back in 2015 when the police joined forces with 11-year-old Rebecca DePietro, together they cracked the case in no time!

That year, Rebecca’s home in Connecticut was burgled. Trying to piece together as much information as possible, the police asked Rebecca if she recalled seeing anything or anyone suspicious hanging round the local area. And it was just as well, as Rebecca had seen a possible perpetrator, and so, she doodled down a quick sketch of him.

The scribbly stickman sketch did actually offer some clues, as it depicted a slender guy with dark hair, wide eyes, and a straggly beard. And sure enough, it eventually helped them land on one Pedro Bruno, and, as you can see in the image below, there is somewhat of a resemblance! Bruno was eventually found guilty of 10 burglaries in the area, and just like that, thanks to Officer Rebecca, the case was closed.

Rebecca even said herself that she never expected anything to come of her sketch, but the police assured her that she could be part of the next generation of detectives! Hopefully, criminal detectives need a little more than to simply be able to draw stickmen, but then again, this is America. Moral of the story is, those pesky robbers should learn a thing or two from Home Alone and not mess with kids!

Lois Gibson, The Most Successful Forensic Artist

It’s fairly obvious that serious criminal sketching is not an easy task by any means. Like sure, we can all picture Ryan Gosling’s face, but would you be able to accurately describe it in detail to an artist? And on the flip side, just imagine being the artist who has to interpret people’s imprecise, vague descriptions. It’s not an easy job, but there are some folks out there who are unbelievably talented at building accurate sketches from witness descriptions. Never fear, Lois Gibson is here, and she’s got this skill down to almost perfection!

Having now been a professional criminal sketch artist for the Houston Police Department for over 30 years, Lois decided to get into the profession at 21 after almost losing her life in a horrific attack. And well, every cloud certainly has a silver lining, as she has since gone on to solve over 1,300 crimes thanks to her sketches. Which, FYI, has actually earnt her a Guinness World Record for the most criminal identifications due to composites by a forensic artist. But if you don’t believe Lois’ talent just from those credentials, then why don’t I let you in on some of her work?

Just look at the sketch of Dana Wilson (5th from top in the above picture), who was accused of a kidnapping back in 1995. From the shape of her eyes and nose to the hair and facial structure, it’s hard to believe that Lois created this purely from someone else’s description! It could even pass as a portrait. Similarly, she managed to capture the likeness of prison escapee, Donald Dutton (6th in the picture), to an eerily accurate degree. The sketch is certainly more flattering, but the overall resemblance is uncanny.

As you can see, there are a near endless stream of extremely close resemblances throughout Lois’ police sketching career. But of all Lois’ sketches, there was one so accurate that the criminal actually turned himself in! When Charles Raiford (4th in the picture) saw Lois’ sketch of him in 1990, he knew his days were numbered, so he literally handed himself in. Talk about the power of a good criminal sketch!

Ludicrous Likeness

In Miami, Florida, back in 2014, an incident too nasty to describe took place, that left local cops on the hunt for a group of dangerous perpetrators. With the assailants on the run, an eyewitness came forward with some vital evidence as they presented their own criminal sketch of one of the attackers. Only, for reasons that will soon become clear, when the police released the sketch below, it received a lot of attention.

Imagine stumbling into that guy in a dark alley. As the sketch hit the internet and the press, people couldn’t help but ridicule the thumb-headed, round-eyed caricature, which somewhat undermined the severity of the crime. Be that as it may, it actually did help the police track down one of the men responsible for the crime, that being, 15-year-old Deandre Charles. This, among other incriminating evidence, ultimately led to Deandre being charged for the crime.

But this is where this story gets even crazier. Having served a whole year in prison, it then came to light that Deandre was actually innocent the whole time! Thanks to DNA inconsistencies, plus Deandre’s family maintaining that he was at home at the time of the incident, Deandre’s innocence was proven and the charges against him were dropped. Understandably, after spending a whole year being wrongfully incarcerated, Deandre was a little annoyed and sued the court.

The Gainesville Urinator

From theft to assault, crime is unfortunately a very normal occurrence in society, and it comes in all shapes and sizes. Be that as it may, this next story revolves around perhaps one of the most bizarre crimes you'll ever have the misfortune of learning about.

The year was 2014 and near the University of Florida campus in Gainesville, there emerged reports of a strange, not to mention, foul crime. A man described as being a 6-foot-tall African-American with a chunky build, aged around 25 to 30, was apparently going around approaching women from behind and urinating on them! As to why anyone would do such a thing, well, that’s probably something only lots of therapy can answer.

Either way, the so-called "Gainesville Urinator" had splashed out on at least 7 women and was still on the loose. Unsure of when someone might next experience the wrath of his bladder, the police put together this E-FIT of him based on his victims’ descriptions. That is absolutely the vacant stare face of someone that goes around urinating on women.

The worst part about this whole tale is that, as of writing, the infamous Gainesville urinator has somehow never even been caught. Scary to contemplate that he’s possibly still at large and could strike with his urine at any point, so pee careful out there!

Jeremy Meeks

Taking a slight sidestep away from sketches for a moment, let’s take a look at a mug shot of a guy that went so viral, it literally ended up changing his entire life.

The year was 2014 and the Stockton Police Department of California were undertaking a gang sweep. It was then that they arrested 30-year-old Jeremy Meeks, reportedly a member of the infamous Crips gang, for felony weapon-possession charges. As standard, Jeremy had his mugshot taken; however, when it was posted to the police department’s Facebook, it soon went viral. And for good reason, just take a look!

Despite being convicted for gang-related crimes, the people of the internet seemed to see past all this, as they couldn’t help but be hypnotized by his smoldering gaze and refined jawline. Within days, the hashtag #feloncrushfriday was trending, all thanks to the flattering mugshot.

But the craziest thing about this whole story is not just the viral fame, but how it literally changed the trajectory of Jeremy’s life. Upon being released from prison after serving his 13 month sentence, Jeremy was signed to model talent agency, White Cross Management, who’d caught wind of his good looks from the viral mugshot, and he began to make a living as a model.

Since then, he’s made appearances at several high-caliber catwalk events, as well as appearing in a handful of movies. Yes, from being a literal member of one of the most notorious gangs to walking runways and being on the covers of magazines, he certainly had quite the career change if you can call it that. And sure, it might sound like a happy ending and a successful rehabilitation, but let’s not forget that this man was a literal criminal that we, as a society, collectively forgave purely on the basis of him being supposedly hot.

Lee Willis Gets Tattoo Of His Terrible Sketch

As we’ve observed so far, to be a criminal sketch artist it not only requires the ability to draw, but to effectively take people’s descriptions and make sense of them. Two pivotal skills that this next police officer evidently lacked. Way back in 2004, UK police officer, Lee Willis, was working on a case of burglary. As witnesses were interviewed, he decided to try his hand at doing a police sketch of his own, based on descriptions of the perpetrator.

Having studied graphic design and even holding a diploma in art, Lee was confident he had the necessary skills, but he clearly did not. Not only did Lee’s amateurish sketch make him a laughingstock among his colleagues, but it was actually distributed to other police departments as an example of what not to do when constructing witness sketches and E-FITS.

Having been taunted for this by his colleagues for the last couple decades, including some of them occasionally turning up to the precinct wearing masks of the sketch, Lee has since come to embrace his terrible creation. So much so, in fact, he’s actually had the dreadful sketch tattooed on his upper thigh!

Bucktoothed Burglar

Oftentimes, criminals might wear a balaclava or other types of face coverings in order to conceal their identity. This is probably something this next guy should have considered doing, especially judging by the fact he had a face only a mother could love.

The ugly duckling had apparently invaded an elderly woman’s South Carolina home at around 1 in the morning and demanded money from her. Thankfully, the lady made it out alive, but she certainly wasn’t all that complimentary when describing the invader to the sketch artist. Hilariously and rather savagely, she described him as wearing a knitted hat, and as having "teeth in dire need of a dentist’s attention". And well, if the resulting sketch is anything to go by then you’d have to agree!

Worst Police Sketches

So in writing this article, we came across a bunch of hilarious police sketches; however, many of them had very little publicly-accessible information or story to them. But, it’d be a real shame to not show them to you guys, so here’s a quick-fire round of some hilariously abysmal criminal sketches!

For starters, just check out this guy who has come to be known as the "owl man", what with that huge widow’s peak, beak-like nose, and bird-like eyes.

He kind of looks like Simon Cowell or maybe Nikocado Avocado in a moment of self-doubt. The featured suspect’s crimes are unknown, though we can only assume this bird-faced man had been pooping on people’s windscreens. But onto yet another comical police sketch, and just take a look at this big-toothed, cross-eyed criminal.

Surely no one looks like that, you’d assume; however, the likeness isn’t all that far off when you see the actual culprit! Granted, the publicly-released mugshot is potato-quality, but it’s enough to see that, the guy, at the very least, shares his police sketch’s wall-eyed, vacant stare.

Moving on, this next suspect was wanted for harassment, though judging by this E-FIT, his main crime seems to be against fashion, what with him sporting this bleach blonde afro. With hair like that, the only plausible suspect is Ms. Dolly Parton. That’s right Dolly, come down to the precinct immediately, your 9 to 5 days are over!

I hope you were amazed at the craziest police sketches of all time! Thanks for reading.