Weirdest Items For Sale On eBay

eBay is the online auction site where you can buy other people’s unwanted stuff. But there’s a dark side of eBay, because for every super cool item someone’s trying to sell, someone else is selling something insane. Over the last year I’ve stumbled across a lot of weirdness on the website, and so I’ve bought some items, and now I guess it’s time to talk about my haul. From super expensive Cheetos, to haunted paintings and guardians of the spirit realm, let’s take a look at my eBay haul of weird items.

Weird Food Listings

eBay’s food listings are something I simply can’t fathom. It's fine if you’re selling some assorted, packaged snacks or drinks for a couple of dollars. But if you’re selling a McDonalds Chicken Nugget in the shape of an Among Us character for $750, I don't know what to say.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t make an offer, but sadly this listing got taken down, or might have actually sold, not too long after I did. Scrolling further I found pistachio nut shells listed for $1000. I added this to my "save this insanity for later" list, but when I went back to it, it had sold!

So I went looking for even more weird shaped food and that didn’t take long. I found one item ominously titled food and the description said it’s an illuminati shaped asda dorito, and all for $630. You really can sell anything for any price you want here.

Then, there was a Flaming hot Cheeto in the shape of Elvis Presley for $100,000! I like Elvis, but didn't see much of a resemblance with that Cheeto. But I found another Cheeto shaped like the Madonna and Child. And all for just $142.78? Compared to Elvis and the nugg, this is practically a bargain. So I bought it. Let’s find out what a $140 Cheeto looks like!

It was lovingly packed in toilet paper there. It’s significantly less orange than the pictures. I thought about having a nibble to be sure, but before I did, I spotted another Cheeto listing that hit me right in the nostalgia. It was shaped like Geoffrey the Giraffe, the old "Toys R Us" mascot! The resemblance was uncanny, so yes, while it was listed for $500, I offered $20, and got it! And boy, am I glad I didn’t pay $500 for this.

That is practically beige. The white spots are paler than my own skin! Well, the description of this was very clear: do not eat. So, I guess I’ll display it, which really ties the room together.

Giant Bran Flake

So, I wasn’t successful in getting everything I wanted to buy. Case in point, a bran flake. A giant bran flake. 7.3 centimeters by 8.6 centimeters to be precise. Which someone decided was so impressive, that they should frame it, then sell it for $207,000.

Considering a whole box of bran flakes costs about $2.60, this one mega flake was being sold at 79,615 times that! And the description was eclectic. “I discovered the elephantine edible on a crisp winter morning whilst pouring out my least favourite breakfast cereal (aka ‘torture flakes’) … A little tilt of the box was all it took to awaken this mammoth from its slumber … Scientists have not yet studied the monolithic munch but I am waiting to be contacted about this as I am certain it holds much significance…”

Clearly, I was dealing with a man of culture. So I wrote back in kind! I said, “Good Sir, what a splendid bran you have. Please consider $60 an acceptable sum for the transfer of custody of this magnificent specimen!” And then I added a little bran flake graphic with sunglasses and a thumbs up to seal the deal. Iconic. Sadly, no deal was sealed, I was left on read, but I didn’t give up that easily.

Magic Spells For Sale

Not everything you can buy on eBay is real, which sounds even more crazy when you say it out loud. And yet, this is the point where I discovered you can buy spells! Yes, Genuine Magic Spells. According to the description, performed by an experienced practitioner of white magic. Apparently, this magic works a bit like a prayer, but costs 5 whole bucks. So, obviously I had to try it out.

After purchasing, my witch got in touch to ask what I wanted, and I had to think long and hard. Did I want love? Vitality? Eternal youth? No, I wanted that big bran flake. So, I asked the witch to cast their magic, and influence the seller of the big bran to accept my offer of $60, to prove to me that magic was real.

I feel like most rational people would stall here and at least ask if I’d suffered from some sort of head injury or maybe a stroke, but this witch didn’t bat an eye! She replied, and I kid you not, “I fully understand how the existence of the Giant Bran Flake has led to your true understanding of magic and, indeed, the magical nature of the universe. What a blessing! It is my intention that my spell will enable you to take possession of the mystical cereal flake.”

And to prove they’d cast the spell, they sent me the picture below. We got a candle, some crystals, some sort of Egyptian statuette, a fake candle with Christian iconography on it. This is $5 well spent!

A few weeks passed and I heard nothing from the big bran seller. Then a few more weeks, still nothing. Then, on January 7th 2024, I got a notification: the giant bran flake had sold! But not to me, to someone else for $38! I offered $60! What gives? So, not only did my dope lil bran icon fail to win over the seller, magic is also dead to me.

Haunted Items

As weird as food and magic eBay may be, it’s got nothing on haunted eBay. There are thousands of listings that claim to be selling cursed and possessed items. They’re mainly creepy dolls, or gothic trinkets, but some items stand out.

Apparently, this little snowman plush is a guardian of the spirit world. Its description states he likes to find his way around by gliding through floors, walls, doors and ceilings and that you’ll notice the air changing colder when he’s about to appear to you.

You know what, $30 feels remarkably cheap for an authentic spirit guardian, let’s put Smoss to the test! Just as I hit buy, another haunted item was suggested to me, a haunted box with "panormal" positive energy. Not paranormal, panormal!

Having no idea what that was, I took a look at the description, which read the emotion that comes from this box is insane, and I’ve felt some things in my time. A panormal box haunted with emotion? I figured maybe it’d help my cold dead heart feel something, so I made an offer of $60, and got it.

Having spent $90 on haunted items, was I done there? Absolutely not. A further look revealed a haunted not porcelain doll but picture vessel.

I love that the seller, showing a picture of a picture, had to in fact clarify it was a picture, and not a doll, which no one thought it was. It also came with a weird story, about a young girl who apparently bought the picture with her allowance who wasn’t happy with how she looked. Genuinely, it reads she thought she was ugly and thought she looked manly. Apparently she had no self-esteem and she liked reading, until she became really unwell and slept a lot.

I honestly have no idea what this is going on about, but for $5, I decided to buy the picture that was supposedly haunted by a depressed kid who just needed a nap. And with that, I spent close to $100 on haunted items. I can’t believe I spent that much, so let’s see what I actually got.

Starting with an old, slightly beat up wooden box, promising emotions. Can’t say I’m feeling anything, maybe a little sad because I spent $50 on this. And Smoss is a cute plush toy; can’t say I’m feeling any colder though.

Maybe if I tuck him in and make him feel more at home he’ll start warming up, or technically cooling down, to me. While he’s getting comfy, let’s look at that final item in the picture below. Assuming there was anything real in that description, what child would buy this? How bad do your hilariously fake sounding self-esteem issues have to be to purchase this, and then apparently haunt it till the end of time?

Best Pokémon Set Ever

Pokémon cards are big business, and eBay sellers often auction off rare and even custom cards to the highest bidder. But as I was scrolling through them one day, a unique listing caught my eye. It was apparently a set of Pokémon cards in custom packaging.

The word custom is doing a lot of heavy lifting there, with the images showing a hilariously rough glitter paper sleeve with hand drawn Pokéballs on them, which looked more like someone had a breakdown in a hobbylobby. It was filled with, well, not Pokémon cards, that’s for sure. Although the description said otherwise, and emphatically called them The Best Pokémon Set Ever!!!

You’d expect someone with conviction in that statement to be selling these for like $600, but for $6, you know I had to see what this person had made. Sadly, almost as soon as I bought them, I was refunded. The reason? Apparently they were damaged. The cards, not the seller. Although I guess they must have been emotionally damaged to list these in the first place.

Ultimate Taxidermy

Taxidermy is a pretty creepy form of preservation, where animal skins are stuffed and posed to look like they’re still alive. Some pose them naturally, but on eBay, I found a seller posing them super-naturally. This next listing has probably the single greatest item title ever: Taxidermy Witch Mole!

It’s a taxidermy mole with a little witch hat, cape, and even a tiny broom! I wanted to know more, but the description just read TAXIDERMY WITCH MOLE. Say no more, I need it. Only problem: this was an auction piece. And I was up against another bidder.

With just 13 minutes left the bids on this moley were up to $30! I knew I should stop, but I got it and it’s perfect. A little under 10 inches tall, the broom, hat and cape on this fuzzy little oblong with those hilarious little paddle hands, can you imagine it actually flying on that broom?

Victorian Electro Therapy Shock Machine

Electroshock therapy, or ECT, is one of those old medical treatments that’s got a pretty barbaric reputation. It’s often depicted in films and TV as a kind of punishment, but in the real world, it involves passing an electrical current through a patient’s head to stimulate their brain.

It’s still used today, though it requires a lot of precise placement and medical know how, which is why this eBay listing terrifies me. A Victorian electro therapy shock machine medical antique. This doesn’t feel like the sort of thing you should be able to buy without some serious checks in place!

A look at the description reveals the seller thinks it’s from some time in the 1800’s, which makes sense as this was around the time that electro therapy devices were becoming popular. So either this thing is going to be too old to work, or I’m going to give myself some brain injuries, and all for $30! Let’s do this!

So when this arrived I was surprised at how heavy it was, considering it was only about 12 inches tall. And boy was it dusty. I’m tempted to believe it was from the 1800’s purely from the amount of dust. I don’t know why I expected all the attachments would come with some sort of guide, considering this device is designed to deliver an electric shock to your body. But I suppose that’s a more modern expectation.

I got everything out and tried my best to figure out what each thing did. I attached wires from these handle things to the box, I threaded a thing, and I’m clearly lost. Which, let’s be honest, is probably a good thing.

Fake Old Photos

All over eBay, people are selling vintage portrait and photo books, with some dating back to the 1800s! I assumed people wouldn’t really want old photos of people and places they have no context for, but I’m wrong, some of these are going for as much as $100! I wanted to figure out what all the hype was about, so I bought one for $50. It came in this thick, old leather binder with a cracked spine, so I was pretty hyped to see all the history inside.

It has black and white landscape photos, which is kind of cool. But these pictures were apparently taken in 1954, yet their lack of image fading or any signs of wear and tear makes them seem like they were printed very recently. Was I sold a book of fake old photos? Another flick through shows reprints of old landscape pictures hastily glued into the pages in varying degrees of quality. What a weird thing to fake. I feel robbed!

World’s Saddest Cookbook

The 1980’s was a weird time mainly because the rise of microwave cooking led publishers to release the saddest book ever made, according to this vintage listing on eBay: Microwave Cooking For One. 96 pages of, what I assume to be, pure depression.

For $5, I was happy to find out what authentic loneliness tasted like. Well, it arrived in good condition, a look at the back reveals a picture of a cocktail, which, as far as I’m aware is not something you cook nor something you microwave. We’re off to a great start. I flick through, and honestly, I don’t know what I was expecting. Most of these so called recipes are just "buy the thing, put in microwave, bon apetit."

Used Dread Locks

I really didn’t want this listing to be real, because for one, it was a handful of dreadlocks that were described as used, and two, well, they were $107. But this was one of the weirder things I’d found this year, so I bought them.

They arrived, and, nothing quite says used like coming in a second hand plastic bag. Lets open them up and, these are much bigger than I thought they were in the listing. Guess I got my $107 worth of dread, in more ways than one.

They were clean I think. There was a lot of grey specs which, now that I think about it, may have been dry skin and dandruff caught in the hairs. That’s enough back in the bag and into the trash with you.

Freeze Dried Candies

Back in October when I was looking for Halloween candy, I got suggested a link to some freeze dried skittles from an eBay seller. If you don’t know, the process of freeze drying involves freezing a food and then lowering the pressure, which essentially dehydrates the food without cooking it.

Of course, water expands when it’s frozen, which means that when you freeze dry food, like skittles for example, they look weird. And for $6, this seems like the perfect foodstuff to eat sensually into the microphone, like all the YouTube AMSR pros do.

They don’t smell all that different, which makes sense as they’re just dehydrated. They feel hard, but weirdly light. So let’s try one!

There is a crunch! I can’t tell whether I like it or despise it. I tried a few more, and I got to say these really stick to your teeth, more so than hydrated skittles, I think. But I like them! I might need to buy another packet of these.

Demon Fetus

Most of us work to get rid of our demons, but over on eBay, you can buy them apparently. Sold ominously as a mummified demon fetus. The description of the item just said one of a kind demon fetus... in a little wooden box.

So I have questions. First this can’t be real, surely. And second, who goes around buying demon fetuses? Well, me I guess, but that’s besides the point. For $60, I just had to see what this really was. So when it arrived, I have to say I didn’t realize what it was at first.

The little wooden box had some twine around it, along with a little heart charm. Opening the lid revealed some pink tissue paper, which I thought was quite cute until I saw the horror hidden within.

This ain’t right, but it also ain’t real. The resin on the outside made me think this so called demon was probably a craft project, but how could I be sure? Simple. I smashed it open! Unless demons are typically made of clay, then I’d say this is a fake. If it’s not, well, I’m sure Smoss can protect me from whatever wrath I’ve just invoked.

Big Chungus PS4 Game

If you’re as terminally online as I am, you probably know the Big Chungus meme. It’s a chunky version of Bugs Bunny, titled Big Chungus, which is just a meme that makes me laugh. At least, I thought it was a meme, because it turns out you can buy the Big Chungus PS4 game on eBay!

It made me laugh, and for $23 I just wanted to see what this really was. I assumed it would be a poor quality craft project like the Pokémon cards, but when it arrived, I was incredibly surprised. At a glance, this thing looks like it could have been a real game. Whoever made it edited Big Chungus into the screenshots of other games for the back cover, and gave it a full blurb! It’s even rated M for Big Chungus.

There was, sadly, no actual game inside, because Big Chungus was only ever a meme. But in terms of quality, this is probably the best joke item I’ve ever bought, and I’ve bought a lot of things from Wish!

Mystery Box

On eBay, I came across a listing of a mystery box! Filled with 10+ mystery items! There’s something about a battered box with fragile tape that just screams danger to me! Could be knives, live mice, a head? Who knows! So for $26, I decided to quench my curiosity.

When it arrived, it helpfully had mystery box written on top. I can only imagine my delivery man was as curious as I was! It has a DVD, an iPad keyboard, more sealed DVD's and CDs, more DVD's, tape, headphones, and a Warhammer magazine! And finally, a screen protector and a book.

Most Wanted Iraqi Playing Cards

Playing cards come in a lot of different designs, but none even come close to the set I found on eBay. These are the "official U.S. Defense Intelligence Agency’s 2003 most wanted members of President Saddam Hussein’s government" playing cards.

Apparently, these were issued to battlefield troops during the Iraq war back in 2003. However, this eBay seller says they make a great gift for your friends and family. I don’t know if my friends and family would appreciate a playable hit list from over 20 years ago, but let’s grab a pack just to double check this is real.

Well, they arrived. However, it was so old that when I tried to open it, the glue failed and the box came apart in my hands. There were some faceless cards, which made me think this was a joke. Surprisingly, these were an actual thing the US government commissioned for release, with more than 1.5 million sold! Well, it’s time to do a Saddam shuffle!

That’s a really good joke if you’re familiar with early 2000’s American terminology around the Iraq invasion. This sounds like the most controversial item I bought, but trust me; I’ve saved the best, or technically, worst for last.

Old Bones

So, while a lot of the stuff I’ve bought is pretty silly, there was one listing I came across that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was for bones. Human bones, apparently from old Victorian anatomical studies.

eBay has some very, very strict rules in place explaining it does not under any circumstance allow the sale of human body parts, excluding hair, obviously, so I did not think for a minute this was real. It was listed multiple times as genuine human bones; eBay wouldn’t have allowed an item with that title to be listed in the first place if they were real, surely!

So, curious, I bought one for $45. Initially I thought this was a complete scam because I didn’t receive anything for weeks, but then the seller messaged me to say his wife had sent the package and had accidentally declared there were real human remains in there, so it got sent back to them.

Whatever, I was fairly certain it was just some super weird scam, and thought nothing more of it, then a tiny little package arrived. So I opened it and, at first I thought it was a weird rock! But then looking at the shape and the texture I think this is a vertebrae!

I’ve not really looked at a real human vertebrae before, but this looks pretty old, and pretty real. It’s also got little holes in it where I think it was once strung up as part of an anatomical skeleton model, if that seller’s description is anything to go by. So, I’ve gone from thinking I was scammed to being super weirded out.

If you were amazed at the weirdest items for sale on eBay, you might want to read about the strangest Shein and Wish products reviewed. Thanks for reading!