Passive Aggressive Ways People Got Revenge - Part 2

They say revenge is a dish best served cold and it turns out, they might actually be right. At least, that’s the conclusion to be drawn from the countless brilliant examples of cold, calculated revenge to be found throughout the internet. From the ultimate way to stop a food thief, to the greatest pay-back against a bully ever, let’s explore some awesomely passive-aggressive ways people got revenge.

Cold Call Cash

In 2011, Lee Beaumont from Leeds, England got even with the frustratingly high number of telemarketing cold callers he was dealing with by turning them into a new stream of income. While only giving his personal number out to friends and relatives, he set up a premium phone line to give out every time a bank, gas or electricity supplier requested his contact number.

As those types of companies occasionally pass customer details onto the types of organizations likely to carry out cold calling, if anyone did cold call him, they’d pay the price. Specifically, 10 pence per minute. In his first two years with the premium line, Lee made over £300 from cold callers.

He wound up trying to keep the cold callers he’d once despised on the phone for as long as possible to squeeze more money out of them! Once the story got picked up by news organizations, he began making even more money from the journalists calling to ask him about his set up! They say the best revenge is living well, and for Lee Beaumont, that was certainly true; thanks to all that extra money it earned him.

Saudi King Greeted In The UK By Imperial March

International politics is a difficult game. When you depend heavily on the oil exports of a nation run by someone guilty of inflicting countless human rights violations upon their own people, things get a little complicated. That was exactly the case with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, so when he visited the UK in 2007, the Brits weren’t exactly overjoyed and neither were the band employed to welcome him.

But being under the employ of the British royal family, the band couldn’t flat out refuse to play. So, instead, they chose to accompany the Saudi King’s approach with a suitably menacing soundtrack:

UK; Saudi visit. by jasper10623

Yes, that’s the Imperial March, Darth Vader’s theme from Star Wars. Pretty fitting, and wonderfully passive-aggressive. Can’t beat that good old British sense of humor.

Dave Don't Snore

When someone’s significant other is snoring in bed, the usual response is to shove them until they stop long enough for the other person to fall asleep. But that wasn’t enough for Twitter user DuckMischief.

Instead, she recorded her husband’s snoring and got revenge for countless sleepless nights by remixing it into a song. Soon, DuckMischief’s track began picking up listens online, and now her husband’s embarrassing snoring has been heard by over half a million people on Spotify.

Steve Hofstetter's Airport Revenge

In 2017, while standup Comedian Steve Hofstetter was walking to his gate at Los Angeles International Airport, he noticed a woman talking loudly and obnoxiously on her phone. Unfortunately, she was completely oblivious to the fact that the dog she’d brought with her was taking a big old Boston steamer on the airport floor.

Several people pointed that out to her, but she just huffed at the inconvenience of being disturbed, saying “they have people for that”. Steve was appalled, but continued to his gate.

Shortly after he arrived, however, devastation hit as he spotted that same woman take a seat in his boarding area. To make matters worse, she was now playing music loudly out of her phone. The Redditor knew he had to do something, otherwise he’d be stuck on an 11 hour flight to Tokyo with the horrible woman.

So, he meandered over to her, asking her in an innocent and friendly manner, “so, are you going to London for business?” To which she gruffly responded, “I’m going to Tokyo.” Steve feigned surprise, and gave her some helpful albeit entirely false information: “That flight got moved to gate 53C! You’d better hurry!”

The woman, without so much as a thank you, huffed again, and took off on the long walk to the other side of the terminal. With a long distance between the gates, it would’ve been impossible for her to find out she’d been swindled and return to the correct gate in time. So, Steve’s flight departed with her nowhere to be seen.

Wrapping Revenge

In Christmas 2019, one brother decided to get his revenge for a year earlier, when his sibling had given him his Christmas gift wrapped in multiple layers of duct tape. As payback, the duct tape recipient took intentionally making a present hard to unwrap to the next level, by wrapping his brother’s gift in concrete. On the bright side, he was kind enough to provide a hammer to crack it open and protective goggles for safety.

Fraudbae

When Londoner Angel Exford started dating Michael Fehsenfeld in 2018, she thought he was just a normal guy. There were a few red flags, however. Michael’s social media snapshots of him posing in branded clothing and in front of expensive cars didn’t quite line up with the lack of money he had available in real life. And on their first date, Michael arrived claiming to have lost his wallet, resulting in him using Angel’s contactless card instead for the whole evening.

After the two eventually stopped dating, things really began to get strange. Angel started noticing unauthorized payments on her card, and assumed she’d been the victim of a random case of fraud, until she saw what the purchases were. Someone had been using her card to pay for likes on Instagram, as well as flights from Gatwick airport.

She traced the ID of the plane tickets, which revealed the name of the person who’d bought them: Michael Fehsenfeld. It turned out, Michael had stolen Angel’s card details on their first date, and was using her money to treat his real girlfriend and buy himself Instagram popularity.

So, as revenge, Angel had Michael and his girlfriend arrested at the airport on the day of their planned vacation. To top it all off, Angel went to the press, where the story became national news, utterly destroying any online reputation Michael had sought to build up.

Dog Poop Revenge

Our next story comes from G&P Coins, who commented on our YouTube channel. They shared their story of a nightmare neighbor who let their dog do its business all over the neighborhood without ever cleaning up after it. With stinky surprises constantly being left in everybody’s yards, needless to say, the commenter and the other residents soon grew annoyed.

So, the commenter took matters into their own hands. They began gathering the poops which, normally, would seem like psychopath behavior but wait till the end. After 4 weeks, they’d amassed a collection weighing in at a hefty 15lbs.

They took that pungent load, dumped it on the dog owner’s porch, rang the doorbell and waited. When she finally answered, the commenter calmly explained that they were returning her dog’s property. From that day on, no stray turds were ever spotted on any of the neighborhood lawns again.

Roomie Rivalries

One of our YouTube commenters utilized a slightly less passive form of revenge after their roommates rudely devoured a chocolate cake they’d made for a friend’s birthday. The commenter, Grumblebum of Oz, responded by baking another delicious looking cake, only this time, laced with 3 boxes of chocolate flavored laxatives. Needless to say, the apartment’s plumbing had its work cut out for it that night, after the second cake was consumed without hesitation!

But the most eyebrow raising roommate revenge of all was carried out by another of our commenters, who honestly may have taken it a little too far. After clumsypuff’s roommates ignored countless requests to stop using the commenter’s shower products, it was time to get real.

So, clumsypuff spiked a bottle of hair conditioner with Nair hair remover. Then, it was just a matter of waiting. Soon enough, their roommate’s hair, which he’d previously claimed was his best feature began falling out in clumps. As soon as the roommate figured out the cause of his unexpected new bald spots, the thieving finally stopped.

Coworker Revenge

An annoying roommate is one thing, but at least you can choose not to live with them anymore if things get particularly bad. It’s a little more complicated with an irritating co-worker. Unless you’re willing to go through the arduous process of finding a new job, you’re stuck with them for as long as you need the money your work pays!

But that doesn’t mean you can’t get even from time to time. Tammy Dearhouse, another of our commenters, shared this story of her dad’s revenge on a co-worker who was so worried about scratching his mid life crisis car, he insisted on parking across 3 spaces. Despite complaints from other co-workers who’d been forced to inconveniently park down the street due to the lack of spaces in the parking lot, his selfishness continued.

So, one lunchbreak, Tammy’s old man bought 5 orders of fries from a local fast food joint, scattered them all over the mid life crisis mobile, and returned to work. Over the course of the afternoon, according to plan, the local seagull population came in and had their fill, and left a few parting gifts in return. When the car’s owner returned at quitting time, his precious vehicle was absolutely covered in bird droppings.

When faced with a selfish co-worker of a different kind, who repeatedly stole packed lunches that didn’t belong to them, a web user shared their unique solution. Filling their fish tacos with cheese and cat food made for the perfect prank, as the pet quality whitefish looked just like human quality tuna!

A similar switcheroo was carried out against a jelly doughnut thief. Those modified treats were filled with enough English mustard which, unlike American mustard, is super hot, like horseradish and wasabi to blow the doughnut stealer’s nose clean off! While neither of the outcomes were ever revealed, there’s no doubt that those sneaky replacements would leave sufficiently nasty tastes in the thieves’ mouths to stop them doing it again!

Car Revenge

With road rage being a very real thing, it makes sense that there’s a good number of stories of people getting payback for vehicle based vexations. Like Reddit user Ryman_Tea’s revenge against his buddy, who covered his car in toilet paper as a prank. In return, the Redditor used the same idea, only more colorfully, by painstakingly coating his friend’s car in post-it notes over the course of 2 hours.

Fecal Revenge

Sometimes, revenge gets a little messy. Like in 2015, when supermarket chain Lidl announced they’d be lowering their milk prices. Independent farmers, unable to compete with those lower prices, weren’t too happy. So, a group of farmers in France drove their tractors up to the local Lidl, and unleashed a torrent of manure on the building in protest.

Farmers attacks LIDL by Lasse Burholt

A similarly fecal form of revenge was exacted by a woman in Hillsboro, Oregon in 2017, after a thief repeatedly stole packages from her doorstep while she was out of the house. She taped up a box filled with a dozen of her 4 month old son’s used diapers, and left it on her doorstep with a note inside saying, “enjoy this you thief!”

She returned home to find the box gone, and took great pleasure in imagining what the thief’s reaction must’ve been when they took the package home and cracked it open. If they ever steal from that family again, they’d better bring a nose peg.

Get Off My Land!

As anyone who lives in the countryside will tell you, farmers don’t take kindly to intruders on their land. So, when a farmer in Jakusevec, Croatia repeatedly found shoppers from the local market using his field as a free parking lot without his permission, he was furious.

After asking them nicely to refrain on several occasions failed, the farmer decided to teach them a lesson, by ploughing the land around their cars while they were shopping. With the dirt turned over, driving out without getting stuck became almost impossible for the opportunistic parkers.

YouTube Video by Unknown

Best of all, when the parkers called the authorities, the police decided it wasn’t their problem, as the farmer was within his rights, considering it all took place on his private land! Technically legal passive aggression is the best way to get revenge.

Petty Breakup Revenge

Ending a relationship is rarely easy, but when somebody wrongs you in a big way, taking some sweet, sweet revenge can certainly dull the pain a little. When the prom date of one high school senior from Colorado not only ditched her for another girl, but also demanded the $95 he’d spent on her back, she obliged. Only, she did so with a generous helping of pettiness, to even the odds after being betrayed by him. She gave her ex the money, but she did so entirely in pennies.

But the most official form of a relationship ending is with a divorce. And when the reason for the split is adultery, it’d almost be wrong not to take some form of revenge. Back in 2007, a German man used the highest form of passive aggression when it came to splitting his possessions evenly with his now ex wife. Using his skills as a mason, he took a chainsaw to their 26 ft long summer house and cut it clean in half!

That level of pettiness was exceeded by another freshly divorced German man in 2015, who sawed almost all of his and his ex wife’s shared possessions in half! Half chairs, and even the car cut in half, might make for a great art installation.

für laura by Der Juli

Getting Back At Bullies

If there’s anyone who deserves some comeuppance in the form of calculated revenge, it’s bullies. And once in a while, they get what’s coming for them. Like in our next story, from one of our YouTube commenters, Kartoffelkamm.

After some neighborhood bullies kept demolishing the snowmen he and his brother were building, they set a trap for the snow bandits. Grabbing some old bricks, they constructed a small tower, built a snowman around it, and waited for their adversaries to try destroying it.

Sure enough, later that day, they heard a scream of agony from outside. Upon investigation, they found one of the bullies on the floor clutching his painful, swollen fist, having tried to punch the snowman into oblivion.

To finish him off, the brothers poured water over his legs, which soaked through and froze up in the cold. The lesson was learned: never mess with Kartoffelkamm, avenger of fallen snowmen.

But one the all time greatest tales of revenge against a bully unfolded live on Boston’s Hot 96.9 radio station in August 2017. A woman called in asking the host to call a guy she’d been on a date with and ask why he hadn’t returned her calls. When the guy answered the phone, he revealed the reason he hadn’t got back to her.

It turned out, the woman calling in was the mother of his high school bully. After discovering her on a dating site, he’d plotted the ultimate revenge against the bully: sleeping with his mother. And let’s just say, he achieved it.

Understandably, the bully’s mom was none too pleased to discover that, and presumably, neither was her son. But it was too late. The guy she’d slept with had already completed his decade long payback mission, and it’d been broadcast over the airwaves for thousands of listeners to hear.

If you were amazed at these stories of passive aggressive revenge, you might also want to read part 1. Thanks for reading!