Strangest Wish Products Reviewed - Part 3

Wish.com is a site where you can buy just about anything for practically nothing. If that sounds too good to be true, it’s because it is, which I proved in parts 1 and 2 of this series. From suspiciously cheap technology to literal fire hazards, we’ve bought it all so you don’t have to. Seriously, there’s no end to the weirdness or danger you can find on this site. From suspiciously cheap smartphones and watches, to some truly bizarre things, let’s find out!

Fake Phone

Smartphones today are super pricey, with handsets of some of the latest Android compatible phones coming in at more than $1800! We found a handset with the outer appearance of an iPhone listed on Wish. However, the product description claims it’s an Android. It’s so good that apparently it has a dual sim capability and all for $60. Obviously, we had to purchase this frankenphone to see what was going on.

For a start, the packaging had the phrase "Android is a trademark of Google Inc." printed not once, but twice. It looks like the manufacturer is trying really hard to convince people this is genuine. Turning on the phone greets with a message "Welcome," which is indeed very polite.

And the interface look suspiciously similar to Apple app icons. The settings, Calendar, Contacts, everything looks the same. And if this were real android software, famously owned by Google, why would it have Safari as the default browser instead of Google Chrome?

There was a file in the gallery, which is a K-pop music video! That kind of makes sense. The torch is pretty dim and the camera is even worse. Considering the three massive lenses, it’s not the best quality.

For $60, it's surprising if it even works. But is it legal to use Apple’s IOS icons, which are protected by some pretty stringent copyright protection, to make this look more like a real Apple-licensed device? Almost definitely not.

Verdict: Pretty phony.

Lighter Watch

Ever feel like you have too many accessories? Wish you could double some of them up? You know like a wallet belt, flip down sunglasses, shoes with socks built in, or a lighter watch! At least two of those sound insane, but I’m here to tell you that the last one, the lighter watch, is very real over on Wish. Perfect for people who need the time and a light in the exact same moment!

We figured this had to be a joke, so, for $5 we ordered one, half expecting a regular lighter gaffa-taped to a cheap watch. But what arrived surprised us. It was exactly the same as the image in the product listing. And what’s more, the watch worked!

A sliding button on the side provides the buttons to work the lighter, but even after we’d filled up the watch with lighter fluid, we couldn’t get a light. After looking at the reviews though, it seems several other customers have gotten it to work, which is both hilarious and terrifying. There’s just something about a cheap, $5 watch filled to the brim with flammable liquid that doesn't feel comfortable strapping to the wrist.

Verdict: some things are best kept separate.

Hot Sweat Cream

Every day, millions of people search for quick weight loss solutions. We all know the answer is eat less, move more, but we all want there to be a magic lotion that just melts excess bodyfat off instantly, like this product Wish suggested!

With a title that proudly states "hot sweat cream", it was irresistible. Promising it’ll burn fat, reduce cellulite, and that it even comes in “tropical” with no further explanation whether that's a flavor or smell. Whatever it was, we bought it. And when it arrived, this did not smell tropical. It smelt like chemicals and danger. And for some reason it was a luminous green! It didn’t come with any ingredient list, so for all you know, there could be rat poison in there.

Rule number one of the internet: never apply any product you buy to your skin without knowing what’s in it, especially one that promises to burn burn burn!

Verdict: eat less, move more, and do not buy the mysterious danger cream!

Pore Removal

There’s one part of Wish that really terrifies us, and that’s the Beauty and Cosmetics Section. Here you can find thousands of body-altering products that have no ingredient lists. There are hundreds of listings showing women with weirdly photoshopped strawberry noses being sucked at by a weird looking machine. Without questioning it, we just hit buy on one for $10. And this product apparently comes with a camera setting, which is apparently for recording the pores.

After a few weeks, it arrived, and we finally learned from the writing on the package that it was a “visual blackhead apparatus”! Blackheads being the build ups of oil and dead skin you can get in your pores. A quick look at the instructions explained “please do not use scrub or other… horny… products before and after use”. Horny?

Well, try as we might, we couldn’t get the supposed camera feature to work, so we affixed one of the nozzles, turned it on and that sucks quite hard. A little apprehensive about putting this on the face, we tried a few different techniques, left it in one spot for a bit, slowly dragged it down and, it gave a nice circular suction mark, but failed to remove any of the blackheads.

Verdict: this sucked. And not in a good way.

Get Grid

We all love a potato grid. Something about the lattice just makes them taste better. Surprisingly, Wish offered us what seemed to be a potato grid maker for $10! It arrived without any instructions, so we had to figure out how to slice this bad boy without dicing up the fingers. The first few test runs were ok, but finally we realized if you turn the potato 90 degrees after you’ve cut it and slice again, you get a grid!

Neat. However, you can easily mess up your fingers on the unexpectedly super sharp blade of this thing.

Verdict: Just lost the appetite.

No Ear Earpods

If you love bad English, then you are going to love the next thing we found. As we were scrolling through Wish’s tech section, a sentence at the top of an image caught the eye: “Younger than me? Does Not Exist!” After laughing hard and taking a look at the product title, this was for a “2022 Super Mini Invisible Earphone Nano size… no pain”.

Although all of this is apparently a lie because in the description it reads: “wearing is not invisible, you will feel pain in your ears”. Gotta love a product that sounds like a threat. The description continued: “no ears, no ears” and had to state that twice for some reason “it does not enter the ears… even children can relax.”

This gets more confusing and sinister by the minute, so obviously we had to get it. We eagerly awaited the promised tic-tac sized earphones that’re perfect for children and people without ears, but when they arrived, they were just normal earbuds. They were slightly smaller than a standard set of wireless earbuds, but they weren’t invisible, as proven by the fact you can see them in the image below!

And for all the conflicting threats, we did feel some pain when we remembered we’d spent $26 on these.

Verdict: Worth it for the bad English.

Hell’s Kitchen

If you can't cook, when you see people making pastry masterpieces with impossible looking lattice designs on top, you probably just assume witchcraft is involved. But Wish has a tool for that: a specific tool that just makes pastry lattices. To a kitchen novice, that sounds way too cool to be true. For $3, we decided to buy it and see what we get.

At a glance, the product looks like the thing we ordered. It’s just a little roller with sharp, plastic, alternating blades along it. We bought some pre-rolled pastry because if we’d actually attempted to make something we’d have probably burned the house to the ground. And it actually worked.

For all our clumsy handling and butter fingers, this came out better than we could have imagined! You just gently prise it apart and, voila, easy pastry lattice!

Verdict: can someone teach us how to make the rest of the pie now?

Vegetable Peeler

While some wish products look pointless, there are others that overcomplicate very simple tasks, like a self-contained vegetable peeler. It seems that it could be handy tool, but why not just peel your veg over a bag or trashcan if you’re that worried about mess? It seems ingenious until you take it apart, so to literally take it apart, we decided to spend $3 and order one!

It arrived without any instructions, so it assumes you know how a peeler works. Luckily, we do indeed know how a peeler works, and so we grabbed the nearest cucumber to test it out. So, far from the easy peeling the images promise, the blade was dull and we had to hack at this poor cucumber to get any of the peel away.

Because all the peel is in one space, it quickly clogs up the blade, so after a few strokes, you have to empty it and clean it to use it again. It takes twice as long to peel anything! We took a look at the reviews to see what everyone else who’d bought it thought, and sure enough, it was one star city.

Verdict: Peeling very annoyed right now.

Fail Guys

Do we all remember the lockdown peak of Fall Guys, the battle royale video game where you played as a bunch of jellybeans competing in an obstacle course in hopes of winning a crown? Well, the jellybean legacy lives on, in the form of Wish’s 100% definitely not licensed Fall Guys “inspired” inflatable costumes.

For just $40 you can dress up as a bootleg bean, and obviously we had to. We decided to buy the vague “Adult” size costume in hot pink, but what we got was not that. The inflation device was there but the color was definitely, not hot pink.

Nevertheless, the victim got in and asked the cameraman to zip him up. The suit which is definitely not what you would consider “adult” size, the face hole definitely isn’t where the face should be!

We thought maybe we just needed to inflate it, so we tied all the straps around the wrists and ankles down and then made everything worse. Inflating it doesn’t make it bigger, just more claustrophobic. The victim pulled some poses though, and then tried to attach a crown, and the struggle was so very real.

The cameraman could have helped at any point, but figured he’d watch the victim try and do this with tiny, uselessly inflated arms, like a broken T-Rex.

Verdict: Nope.

Game Of Thrones Sword

Wish has a few rules, believe it or not, regarding what can and can’t be sold on the site. One of those regards prohibited items by country, which for almost every country includes dangerous items like knives and swords. So imagine the shock when we came across a sword, apparently from the Game of Thrones TV show! Although the title of the product says that it’s an antique silver letter opener; so, basically, it's a fancy knife! And for $5? We had to get it, if only to prove how lax wish’s restrictions really were.

However, more than proved wrong, we were also thoroughly humiliated by the seller because a tiny little sword arrived. Letter opener? This is a toothpick! It's miniscule even compared to a quarter!

The bubbling in the blade part also shows this is definitely not antique silver, more like old trash! Well, we tried to use it to open a letter, and while it did work, it felt somehow both unnecessary and humiliating.

Verdict: Shame! Shame! Shame!

Beefy Chicken

Have you ever wondered what a chicken with arms would look like? You probably haven't because you’re a normal, rational human being. One seller on Wish, though, figured that making tiny arms for chickens was, for some reason, their life’s calling, and so has put several hilarious styles up for sale. From Macho man arms, to thumbs up hands, and even lil t-rex claws, now you can buy your favorite chicken some decorative limbs!

We don't have a chicken but we bought these anyway. And to model them, instead of a chicken, we have teddy bear Mr. Max! He already has a set of arms, but does he have a pair of super jacked arms? Now he does! But these are a little bit big for him. Probably perfect for a chicken torso, but not a teddy torso.

The wire is pretty flimsy, so there’s not much room for adjustment. Sorry Mr. Max, looks like you’re stuck with your regular arms.

Verdict: no gains for this bro.

Ghillie Suit

For those of you who didn’t go through an embarrassing phase where you were obsessed with all things camouflage, Ghillie Suits are full body suits adorned with extra material to help people like birdwatchers, photographers and snipers blend seamlessly into the foliage of their environment. Obviously, decent pieces of kit like this don’t come cheap, so imagine the surprise when we came across one on wish for $2.50.

The product promised complete camouflage in leafy environments, made from a durable polyester material designed to "keep comfort in well camouflaged", and all for less than a cup of coffee! We had to see if this was the bargain of the century, or just a scam in disguise.

Well, it arrived and it was exactly what you’d expect from $2.50 of clothing. Durable? This is a thin mesh at best! We put everything on, zipped everything up, and went to test it out.

The suit did not cover the hands or ankles. It came in one size and clearly that wasn’t the correct size. Still, for $2.50, it’s certainly something.

Verdict: feels bad, looks badder.

Fake Silicone Lips

Just when we think we might have found the weirdest item available to purchase, Wish comes out of the left field and surprises us with something we didn’t think needed to exist! Case in point: FAKE SILICONE LIPS, complete with fake teeth.

You'll be scratching your head trying to figure out what purpose these could possibly serve, but it turns out they’re for people looking to practice tattoo and microblading techniques on life-like lips. Although we only figured this out after we’d spend $5 on them to investigate further.

And when they arrived, their life-likeness was disturbing. They came in a few different skin shades, and were surprisingly soft to the touch, which was considerate. But after prying the lips apart and seeing the teeth, we noped out. Why would anyone think squishy teeth were ok?

Verdict: ihateitihateitihateit.

Face Slimming Tool

Wish also has a Face Slimming tool! According to the product images, “Just keep this mouth breathing ball in your mouth and breathe in with your mouth for 2 to 3 minutes every day.” That way, you’ll be able to enhance your "apple muscle," as described in another product image. For $4, we were curious to see if it works.

It arrived after a couple of weeks in a cutesy looking box, and in the shape of a bear. The instructions are all in Chinese, but how hard can using this thing really be? All you have to do is put it in the mouth, breathe in and out. While it gives the jaw a workout, it probably doesn't work the apple muscle, wherever that may be.

Verdict: Only regret putting this in the mouth.

Night Vision Goggles

Night vision equipment always looks really fun and cool in films, but in reality, comprehensive night vision equipment that works is a little bulkier and more complicated, not to mention expensive! So when Wish showed a pair of what it claimed were genuine Night Vision Goggles, complete with telescopic night-vision pictures, we knew we were in for a treat. Plus, the listed size for these was “High quality”.

For $16, we wanted to see just how high quality these were. Spoiler alert: they weren’t! The product package says, ‘See 25 feet in the dark,’ which is not true. These were some cheap plastic green lenses with a couple of lights attached to them. That’s not night vision, that’s just a bad torch! And the review section seemed to agree.

We were going to put them, to see what they looked like, and then we found this picture that the seller had uploaded themselves and, a picture really does say a thousand words, and every last one of them is the word “lame”!

Verdict: Darkvision? more like dork vision.

Effective Anti-Snoring Device

If there’s one thing we love more than bad English, it’s badly photoshopped products; like this effective anti-snoring device. Whoever edited this picture couldn’t even be bothered to remove the two nostril plugs of this thing, so this guy looks like he’s sleeping with whatever this is on top of his face. That's surely helping him get a restful night sleep!

A little further digging into the product description reveals this anti-snoring device has built in micro blowers, whatever that means, which apparently relieve snoring. Snoring is caused by your tongue, mouth, throat or nasal airways vibrating as you breathe, so it's fascinating to see how a tiny, cheap looking $15 device combats that.

It arrived pretty much as described, but when we took it out of the box, the hard plastic feel of the nozzles that were meant to go up my nose and the fact it was labelled as an Electric Snorer did not fill us with confidence. Nevertheless, we turned it on.

Those micro blowers in this device produce a loud, constant, whirring noise that makes it impossible to get any sleep! If anything, the noise this thing makes is so much more annoying than the snoring!

Verdict: this thing blows… microblows, that is.

Pizza Blanket

Wish's pizza blanket looks realistic, cozy, and the description section contained more information than most of the technology we’d already bought. So we spent a whole $30 on the biggest pizza blanket they had, one 70 inches in diameter. That’s 5 ft 8 across, more than enough to wrap someone up!

We were expecting it to come in a big package considering how big it looked in the pictures, but this thing was barely big enough to cover the legs. It was more like a personal pizza rather than the extra-large portion we’d paid for!

Instead of a blanket, we’ve taken to using it as a decorative couch cover. Hopefully it’ll serve as a reminded never to buy food themed items off wish ever again.

Verdict: We got Pizza Hurt.

Feet Holes

The beautiful thing about wish is that you can put just about any word into the search bar, and it’ll suggest something utterly insane. For example, we typed in "foot", thinking it might suggest something obviously related like slippers or maybe socks. What did it give us? Feet holes, weird silicone pad feet holes. Apparently these are for “Foot Care”, how exactly is not specified. Seems like the perfect thing to spend $2 on!

They’re very stretchy, but this still hasn’t helped us figure out exactly what foot problem they’re meant to help with. They feel super weird, they’re a little tacky, they don’t support anything, and they stick to the floor, so overall they just feel wrong.

Verdict: The best thing about them is taking them off.

Anime Mask For Weddings

If you watch what could be considered an unhealthy amount of anime, then you’re probably familiar with the eccentric fan community the genre attracts. While cosplaying as your favorite magical girl or Franxx pilot is perfectly fine, buying this next product might be taking the resemblance a little too far.

That’s a full anime character face mask, but there’s something not quite right seeing the giant eyes, nostril-less nose, and pitted pink tongue in real life. However, what really makes it is that the description says this is “An unique and thoughtful gift or wedding favor”. For just $15, you know we had to see what kind of wedding this would be suitable for.

Fast forward a few weeks, it finally arrived and, Gomen nasai (which is Japanese for "I’m Sorry")! Seeing the eyes peeking out of the top just feels wrong. While it’s incredibly creepy to look at from literally every angle, you can’t deny that this is exactly what we ordered.

Verdict: Well done wish.com… you came through on the strangest product possible. Right, whose wedding can you attend in this?

Portable Game Boy Console

Did you have a Game Boy when you were younger? The original handheld console was a game changer, so much so, it seems to have inspired the design of this vaguely named Portable Game Console we found on Wish. One even comes with 400 games built into it.

Does it say what these games are? Not exactly, though one of the images shows the console with an older version of The Legend of Zelda on it, except, it has a YouTube play button in the middle there. Something feels wrong here. So, for $10, we decided to see what these 400 games could be.

And from the minute it arrived, this thing promised to be less of a Game Boy, and more of a HOOOO Boy. For a start, the "sup" logo on the box is a copy of skater fashion house Supreme’s well-known logo. Second, the tagline for this thing “Support External Gamepad Double Against” sounds like a bad riddle. And third, when we unpacked it, the screen of this thing was scratched to hell!

Let’s not judge a book by its blatantly bootlegged cover just yet. Let’s turn it on and look at the promised 400 games! Here we have Super Mario, which is a licensed Nintendo game, but we also have Mario 14 and Mario 3. There are also Dr Mario, Mario Bros, and then Turtles, 1 and 4. Followed by another licensed game, Contra, along with Contra 7 and Contra Forc. Not Contra Force, Contra Forc.

Skimming through the pages of these games reveals even more blatant bootlegs and misspelled game titles, such as Milk and Nuts, Magic Jewelry, Raid O Bungelingh. And Pac man, which is a classic game. Basically, this console has a whole bunch of illegally copied games on it, has renamed some of them, though it hasn’t bothered with others, and has whacked them in a shoddy, tiny plastic console. And to add insult to injury, Zelda wasn’t even on there! The nerve!

Verdict: Forc this.

Smartwatch

How about Wish’s version of a smart watch! Apparently, it comes with Calories, twitter, step count, sport mod, and a crystal clear display. And it’s an 11 series although we don't know what that means. But for $20, who’s asking!

So, after a few weeks, it arrived, although we're not sure we got the right watch, as it had a giant number 8 on the front of it. And when we turned that on, that’s not the crystal-clear resolution we were promised. Looks very pixelated.

No matter, though, it seems to be telling the time! That’s a start. So, let’s check out the old Sport Mod, and although we’ve literally just turned it on, somehow it thinks we’ve clocked 18,476 steps in the last 5 minutes. Might be a new world record.

There’s a heart rate monitor that also appears to work, even if the screen has all the visual clarity of an old Nokia phone! And that'll also be an insult to old Nokia phones.

Verdict: smart watch? More like dumb watch…

If you were amazed at these strange Wish products reviewed, you might want to read parts 1 and 2 of this series. Thanks for reading!