People Who Will Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

People Who Will Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

January 18, 2023・

17 min read

Many of us like to think we’d survive in a zombie apocalypse, but the reality is that you need the skill, the tools, and the knowhow if you want to avoid becoming zombie chowder. So, from the masters of DIY weaponry to apocalyptic engineers, let’s assemble the ultimate team of people who will undoubtedly survive the zombie apocalypse!

Wizard of Weapons

It’s safe to say that you’re gonna need more than walls for protection in a zombie apocalypse. So, it makes sense to arm yourself with some defensive tools, or better yet, a guardian with bulletproof knowledge in the science of weaponry.

Joerg Sprave is one of few people that truly stands a chance of taking out a horde of zombies singlehandedly, and you'll be amazed by what this brilliant madman can do.

Even pre-apocalypse, Joerg spends his time designing and crafting some of the most weird and wonderful weapons you’ll ever lay your eyes on, almost entirely from scratch!

Sporting an interest in slingshots since childhood, Joerg loves nothing more than showing off his latest and greatest projectile creations on his YouTube channel and has a whole armory of epic creations to keep any survival community at the top of the food chain.

This slinger has a real talent for taking standardized weapons and elevating them to the next level. He has designed a double bow and arrow, featuring two bows mounted side by side, with a DIY mechanism that releases the arrows either one at a time, or simultaneously.

There is also a giant torpedo slingshot. Dubbed the Torpedo Shooter 2500, the lengthy barrel is loaded using the power of a very large, bespoke rubber band.

Constructed to hold a 2.2 lb piece of sharp-tipped steel, the heavy-duty slingshot has enormous potential for destruction. It can even penetrate a car door! Think about replacing the door with a zombie head! Considering the metal torpedoes used in the slingshot are reusable, they’re a perfect addition to any zombie survival armory.

Not only does Joerg possess a sharp knowledge of all things slingshot related; he also has plenty of other interests that are sure to come in useful in the apocalypse including weightlifting, which will be a big asset for our survival team.

Creative thinking is another invaluable asset in a survival situation, and Joerg has it in abundance, and he demonstrated it with a six-shot monster spear gun design. Dubbed the Mosasaur Hunter, the blueprints were created by 3D artist Carlos Ortega Elizalde as a theoretical way to hunt dinosaurs, but Joerg has made it a reality.

Made from six separate spear guns mounted in a rig to hold them together, each is able to be triggered individually, or all at once with a central trigger on the rig. The end result is a mega weapon with the ability to deal with multiple zombies at a time with piercing precision.

If you’re looking for something more hand-to-hand, then Joerg has that covered too, with a bladed whip that looks straight out of a diabolical alternative version of history. Joerg’s whip sword packs a serious punch and will embed itself into whatever target gets in its way.

While the whip sword’s deep digging fangs are sure to stop one zombie dead in its tracks, its proclivity to wedge itself into targets means it’s a lot better for a one-on-one zombie encounter than versus a horde.

But if you’re looking for something more horde-un-friendly that won’t get stuck mid-fight then Joerg’s still got you covered. He has a Walking Dead-inspired Lucille bat, which is the TV series’ greatest antihero villain’s weapon of choice for good reason, and Joerg’s interpretation of it would be invaluable in the apocalypse.

But Joerg himself would be the most valuable asset of all, given his technical prowess as well as the fact that he takes extreme pleasure in being the perpetrator of destruction. He is a man who’s built for the apocalypse. Master of weapons: check!

Wasteland Gladiators

After battling through the initial outbreak, our next priority is to get far away from any built up, urban areas. More people equals more zombies, which equals more problems for us, so for somewhere a little more secluded, there’s no better place than the desert.

With scarce settlements, and nowhere for an approaching horde to hide in the open desert plains, defense is a little easier. But, it seems some survivors are already there. And they are none other than the loyal attendees of Wasteland Weekend, an annual festival held in the Mojave Desert in Edwards, California.

This event is an all-immersive experience of everything apocalyptic. Attendees are among some of the most end-of-the-world obsessives out there, and they’re ready for anything.

While the post-apocalyptic theme of Wasteland Weekend might be pretend, there’s some very real talent on display here, particularly when it comes to end-of-the-world survival gear. The Wasteland Gladiators are part of a combat league that meets at the Wasteland Weekend festival to practice their fighting and armor-crafting skills.

Scavenging to find protective materials, each gladiator’s armor is unique to them, and the trick is to cover as much skin as possible, not only to protect yourself from suffering injury, but also from undead bites.

While fictional characters can often be seen wearing little more than a tank top in zombie shows and movies, there’s no such thing as plot armor in real life. For the Wasteland Gladiators, tire rubber is a popular choice for the torso area, offering reasonable protection against melee weapons and teeth in any post-apocalyptic battle.

Gladiators often line their tire chest plates with dirt bike protective vests, as well as pieces of steel, making their armor a natural choice against any number of gnashing teeth. So, with some armor to stack alongside Joerg Sprave’s DIY weaponry, I think our team is ready to hit the road onto our next stop of apocalyptic stock-taking: an ultra-tough vehicle!

Driven to Survive

A huge part of Wasteland Weekend is also the pimped-out car showcase, which is filled with all sorts of highly armored vehicles that are purpose-built to withstand the apocalypse. One of the finest sets of Wasteland wheels ever conceived belongs to an incredible vehicle, dubbed Atomic Annie.

It's a 16,000 lb zombie-proof truck is owned by Wasteland Weekend veteran, Travis Blankenbaker, and consists of a Frankenstein mashup of vehicles including a 1972 Ford F-600, 1951 Chrysler New Yorker, and a 1973 Chevy pickup truck.

The Atomic Annie is loaded with plenty of protective features, including an intimidating steel front bumper, armored Chrysler doors, and there’s even a gun turret installed in the roof.

Masters of armor and machines, it’s safe to say that recruiting the Wastelanders to your team is a strong start to a post-apocalyptic life.

While the desert was a good place to plan, recruit and recuperate in relative peace, it’s really no good for long-term survival. Exposure and a lack of water is far more likely to kill you here than any zombie, so we need a place to put down some roots for the future.

Thankfully, there are rumors of a super-secret survival bunker. But before we drive Atomic Annie to bunker-ville, it’s important to further expand our weapon inventory with something a little more heavy metal.

Shots Fired

Even under the protection of Atomic Annie, being on the road during the zombie apocalypse is a dangerous place to be. While we’ll be able to zoom past most of the undead before they have a chance to notice us, we all know zombies can flock together like sheep, and if we hit an undead traffic jam, we’re gonna need something to clear the road ahead.

Weapon aficionado Alex Smyth may be able to help in this case. He is the creator of the Steampunk Gatling Gun, which is pretty darn metal in every sense of the word. Encased in a riveted aluminum and steel skeleton, Alex modified a classic Ruger 10/22 rifle into a survivor’s dream.

Sheathed in real copper and complete with a miniature boiler that simulates steam using dry ice and water, the gun is driven by an electrical motor and features seven rotating barrels. The fully functional, clip-loaded firearm weighs in at a whopping 60 pounds, but thanks to Atomic Annie’s gun turret, we can mount the Steampunk Gatling gun directly onto our ride.

To counteract the risk of missing our zombie targets with inaccurate gunfire, a secret weapon called Metal Storm can provide a pretty mind-blowing solution. It's a gun with the ability to fire one million rounds per minute!

The beast of a weapon fires 180 rounds in one single blast, and when it’s fired at fully-automatic-pace, nothing in the vicinity of this mega gun stands a chance.

Metal Storm was originally conceived by Australian weapons inventor J. Mike O’Dwyer, and was intended to remain stationary, only to be used in setting up ambushes. However, since its debut test session in 1997, it’s never actually been used in combat due to legal regulations for weapons used in warfare.

But in the zombie apocalypse there’ll be no one left to enforce any laws! If we could acquire a more portable version of the Metal Storm gun, it could make quite the addition to the roof of Atomic Annie, for blasting a way through any rapidly amassing hordes, assuming its recoil doesn't knock the vehicle over!

So, now we’re armed to the teeth, let’s get our team somewhere safe.

Apocalypse Ark

It’s bunker time! They say that if you fail to prepare then you must prepare to fail, and our next post-apocalyptic prepper certainly took that literally. Bruce Beach is the man who spent more than half a decade preparing for the end of the world, and he has created something pretty amazing!

Starting in 1978, Bruce began accumulating what his neighbors described as a bizarre trove of old retired school buses. By 1982, Bruce had managed to collect a total of 42 school buses, costing $50,000 all-in, and what he did next was beyond anything anyone could have imagined.

Having lived through the Cold War, Bruce feared a nuclear war was coming that would result in the end of the world. So, his 42-vehicle strong fleet of busses became the foundations of one of North America’s largest private doomsday bunkers.

Nestled on the edge of the vast woodlands surrounding the small town of Horning’s Mills in Ontario, Canada, Ark 2 is an underground labyrinth intended to serve as a safe zone for survivors to wait out the impending apocalypse.

The result is 10,000 square feet, million-dollar total construction cost underground labyrinth, built with the specific purpose of protecting and housing a survival community.

While this Noah 0.2 originally built his Ark for nuclear doomsday he believed to be coming for us, this school bus shelter is a masterclass in the construction skills needed to keep out the undead.

Not only is this Noah’s Ark buried 14 feet underground, but it can also accommodate up to 500 survivors at a time, and even has a nursery to prioritize the care of children as they grow up in a world of zombies. Bruce really thought of everything when creating his apocalyptic bunker and included a whole roster of survivalist features.

The bunker has one very fortified steel door entrance that even a colossal horde of zombies would struggle to break through. There are storage spaces for long-life canned goods, working plumbing, along with a healthcare room.

There’s also a communications room, and, most importantly, a decontamination room to wash off all those zombie guts. The Ark is powered by diesel generators and a nearby waterfall provides water that can be filtered to drink, meaning that this place would make a pretty cozy cubbyhole to continue on our way to rebuilding civilization.

Sadly, this Ark has been without its Noah for some time. Sadly, Bruce’s life came to an end before the world did, and he passed away in May 2021 at the age of 87. But without him around to see the apocalypse, it’d be rude to let all that work go to waste, so we could hole up in his Ark for a while.

Jobs For Judgment Day

In the new zombie world order, being part of a community is your best chance for long term survival, but you’ll need to find a way to make yourself a valuable asset. You may not realize it yet, but your pre-apocalypse job is now more important than it’s ever been and could make the difference between life and death.

If you’re an ER doctor, military personnel, or a mechanic, you’ll automatically become a valued member of the group. Welders, meanwhile, can turn their hands to crafting some truly awesome apocalyptic weapons. Ryan Groney, for instance, is a welder who can craft things, like a DIY mace, for some heavy metal zombie headbanging!

Ryan’s fellow metal-master Cameron the Welder could be another valuable member since he can craft a Kingdom Hearts keyblade that could be a perfect weapon in the post-apocalyptic world.

Not only are those some truly head-splitting welding skills, but the fact that Cameron fashioned that thing out of bike parts shows his ingenuity with the limited resources of the apocalypse, making him an invaluable addition to our survival team!

From metal melders to wonders of woodcraft now. Surviving long-term away from built-up cities requires knowing how to use the natural environment to your advantage, and there aren’t many professions that know this way of life better than lumberjacks.

These guys can gather and prepare a ton of wood, and they can also cut through any zombie hordes like butter if they appear in the woods.

While a lumberjack’s swing strength is unquestionable, many of them have yet another skill that makes them an invaluable apocalypse asset. Many lumberjacks have expert climbing skills as swift as the coursing river, which they demonstrate in speed-climbing contests at lumberjack conventions!

These tree scaling skills will no doubt come in handy for a quick escape from a sudden woodland horde, all ensuring we get to reap the benefits of the lumberjacks’ other skills as long as possible; by keeping them alive!

If you’re not a burly, hands-on, outdoorsy professional, you might be thinking that your job would be completely useless in the apocalypse. But, with a bit of creative thinking, many professions can add value to a survival group.

For starters, we all know that zombies aren’t so smart, so disguising yourself among them is a neat trick to have up your sleeve if you find yourself in a tough spot. Being a makeup artist or costume designer might have some surprising usefulness in the apocalypse.

Wearing a realistic zombie-scented zombie face mask, for instance, could be used to blend in with a huge zombie horde, if you need to pass through it or retrieve supplies from the center of the horde.

With that in mind, extending your zombie survival crew to include a cosplayer isn’t as crazy an idea as it seems! And if you’ve got a perfume-maker on your team, you could even try and figure out a way to create your very own zombie guts perfume to seamlessly blend with any hoard at any moment.

Survival Runners

Post-apocalyptic job hunting aside, one skill we can all agree is essential in the zombie apocalypse is the ability to run fast! This will be essential for any team members we send out on supply runs, once our stockpiles begin to run low.

Speed and agility are invaluable skills to possess in a world where there are thousands of undead trying to eat you. And while the idea of living with a TikToker sounds even more horrifying than any zombie, the guys on the phatgaps TikTok account are some of the most skilled parkour pros around and initiating them into our community will be well worth it.

These guys' insane skills of jumping over obstacles and from one roof to another will make them less likely to get caught up in a horde while gathering supplies. Parkour in a zombie apocalypse is a high risk but high reward strategy, given the chance you might fall over.

But if you can stay on your feet, being able to climb at speed, evade attackers, and navigate rooftops means being able to avoid street-level zombies by sticking to higher ground in supply-rich cityscapes.

However, our TikTok parkour team members still need some muscle for protection on their supply runs, and luckily, our next guy will come in handy.

By The Blade

Guns aren’t exactly the best long-term survival item for the apocalypse, as ammo is sure to run out eventually. So, we’re going to need something more sustainable for supply-run defense years down the line, a good old-fashioned swordsman!

Shaquan Parson is a TikTok athlete who doesn’t just have just have the moves of a parkour pro, but also comes armed with a freaking katana! And he’s not the only one with the skills for slicing and dicing our undead enemies. Our second supply-run body guard is Ty Pravong, yet another member of the TikTok dream team.

Trained in the art of tameshigiri, the practice of cutting targets like bamboo with surgical precision and astounding strength, a professional katana-wielder would be an invaluable asset to our recon team.

Considering the mushiness of a decomposed zombie, a skilled katana swordsman could cut through numerous walkers like butter, expertly using their own momentum to deliver blow after elegant blow.

If a regular katana alone isn’t enough to make you feel secure, why not take some inspiration from the silver screen?

The sword below was seen in the 2010 movie Helldriver, and features mechanical chainsaw abilities, AKA: the most unnecessary addition to an already lethal weapon.

Nutty engineers in real life have indeed modified chainsaws to resemble swords, so our trusty Joerg would certainly love to have a crack at making one for us. If wielding a 30-inch lethal sword with absolutely no prior training seems a little foolish to you, you’re right, so we’ll leave that to our team’s sword pro’s.

As for you, there are plenty of other DIY weapons you can lay your hands on. For example, you could turn your hands into deadly weapons with a pair of steampunk razor gloves constructed by weapon and props designer Jacob Petersson.

Jacob has a whole host of arm candy up his sleeve that are perfect for post-apocalyptic functionality. With a weaponized glove on one hand and armored handwear on the other, you’ll not only protect your digits, you’ll also have easy access to a weapon for close-range attacks.

Because when you’re the Freddy Kruger of the team, the zombies will have nightmares about you.

Stave-ing Alive

While the thought of wielding a sword or blade gloves to dispatch the undead is awesome, the further we get into the apocalypse, the scarcer supplies and weaponizable materials are going to become.

However, mother nature has a plan, and, not for the first time in this apocalypse, we’re about to get some wood. As innocuous as it may initially seem, a nice long stick is a very useful tool to see you through the end-of-the-world, when used as a combat staff.

Not only are staves a handy way to incapacitate opponents but they can also be used as trekking poles or walking sticks when navigating uneven terrain on the hunt for natural resources in the desolate wilderness.

If you don’t believe that a simple stick could be a dangerous weapon, David Torok will convince you with his incredible moves. This guy will easily survive the apocalypse.

And if that’s still not comforting enough, you can always sharpen the end of the stick into a point, creating the ultimate multi-tool: part stick, part spear!

They say that variety is the spice of life, and a variety of skills and tools are certainly what will be keeping us alive for this apocalypse. So, zombie slayers, there we have our Be Amazed survival squad!

From a truly bonkers master of DIY weapons to Steampunk survivors and TikTok’s finest, all nestled inside the brainchild refuge of a post-apocalyptic Noah. We’ve got it all. Zombies, better watch out!